On My Way

This week God has really had to work on my heart. In the midst of a lot of disappointment, I have seen His preparation and faithfulness to me. After feeling really tired for about two weeks, I went to the doctor yesterday to make sure nothing was going on. They ran a routine mono test, and surprisingly, it came back positive. I was shocked. I have spent the past 16 weeks training for my first half-marathon, and with this Africa trip coming up, my immediate thought was "God, what on Earth are you doing?". I am not sure how God is going to use this time. I have been in to see the doctor, and she recommended that I not run the half marathon. (My hope is still to walk/run parts of it, but we will see...) I am so disappointed, it is hard to have invested so much time in something and to find out a week before the race that you aren't able to run. But, like my dad always says, "Disappointment, His appointment". So, in the midst of this disappointment, I am trusting the Lord and what exactly he is doing. The exciting news is that I should be healthy and ready to leave for Kenya in June. Because the mono isn't too severe at this point, we are just taking precautions to make sure it doesn't get worse. Maybe God is using this time to slow me down and spiritually prepare me for the trip.

One of the songs playing recently on my iPOD has been Something Beautiful by Needtobreathe. "In your ocean I'm ankle deep, I feel the waves crashin' on my feet, it's like I know where I need to be But I can't figure out, I can't figure out- Just how much air I will need to breathe, When your tide rushes over me, there's only one way to figure out, Will you let me drown? Will you let me drown ? Hey now, this is my desire, consume me like a fire, I just want something beautiful to touch me, I know that I'm in reach, 'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful". This is my prayer right now, that even though I feel ankle deep, I know that God is never going to let me drown. The ocean of worries is filled with stress about raising enough support, my health, finishing out the school year strong, and being ready to serve. But as I question "Will you let me drown, Will you let me drown?" I am reminded that he is teaching me to trust him, for what are my worries in His eyes?

Hope you are having a blessed week- be encouraged- as we seek Him he is meeting us, creating, and preparing in us, something beautiful.